crushed heart

well, if you have a bible, i' m going to invite you to go ahead and turn to mark chapter 9, gospel of mark chapter 9 and i know we've prayed a lot today but i'm going to have to pray father, your word tells us that your name is a strong tower and the righteous run into it and they are saved father, the broken run into it and they are saved

the disabled, the hurt, the lonely, we run into it and we are saved. father, may your word be that strong tower. may your name be that strong tower here today, as we conclude this very important conference, may your name be lifted up through this voice, i pray in jesus' name, amen.

about a month ago, as i began to first dig in deep to preparation for this conference i began to get a little uncomfortable. this is a little bit out of my comfort zone here. i began to think about what it might be like to enter this environment and to put on these clothes. i had to take this coat off a couple of times today and to sit down with the speakers at the speaker dinner and talk about theological things

to carry some sort of intelligent conversation with these other speakers and then i thought about how difficult it could be to sit on the same stage with pastor john piper and mark and nancy and to answer deep and weighty questions about god's good design in disability from a moderator and i called john, and e-mailed john and said "can i get these questions ahead of time?" and he said "no. we don't work that way.

the holy spirit just will move in his own way." [audience laughs] and i said, "that didn't help my comfort level at all." and then to find out that i'm speaking last. that i'm following their expertise, and i'm following their experience and i'm following krista horning and her powerful testimony that just took me right up to the edge of my comfort zone. and then right before we came here

i had a thought that brought me back and gave me the courage to stand here before you tonight in the midst of all that discomfort and it was this thought: none of us are here this evening because we are comfortable. this is not a comfortable conference, is it? this isn't one of those comfortable conferences. if it were, we'd need a bigger place, right? we'd need a civic arena or something to put all the people in.

this is not a comfortable conference. we are not a comfortable people. there is nothing comfortable about disability. so i'm in good company, right? yeah! there's nothing comfortable about parenting a child with severe disability, which is what i get to talk to you about here this evening. from a father's point of view there is nothing comfortable about...dosing medications

and fighting with doctors and arguing with school officials and attending countless and endless iep meetings. amen? [audience: amen] yeah! there's nothing comfortable about absorbing the stares of public confusion and criticism when your child makes a strange gesture or a strange noise or even worse a strange smell. yeah. there's nothing comfortable about

restraining a confused and combative child in the middle of a walmart parking lot while people pass you by not knowing whether to call the police on you, or to call the police to come and help you,or to help you themselves. there's nothing comfortable about changing the diaper of a teenager in a public restroom stall when people are waiting outside angry and impatient because you're taking too long. we are not here because we are a comfortable people but we are here to be comforted.

that's why i'm here and i hope that's why you're here too, to be comforted and when i use that word "comfort" i want to use it in the biblical sense not the worldly sense. i don't want you to think of an easy chair recliner in front of a big screen tv or a hammock swinging in the shade or a beach chair on a white sandy beach with your feet dipped in the cool blue ocean waters. however enticing those things might sound to you

that is not the biblical description of comfort and that is not what we are here to comfort you with. the biblical description of comfort, the image that the bible paints of that word "comfort" is a fortress and the door opens up and the saviour beckons us to come in and we come in and we stand in his shadow while the storms assail the side and the waves beat upon the door and it stands strong. because that comfort is the word of god.

and that's what we have here today. and it' s also very important that you understand that you are not here to be comforted in order to become comfortable. that' s not our goal at all. we' ve got too many comfortable christians already in this world. we' ve got too many comfortable parents, we have too many comfortable pastors. instead, you are not here to be comforted in order to be comfortable. instead, you are here to be comforted

in order to become and to be equipped to be comforters. that's why you're here. and i'm speaking specifically to parents here tonight. parents who' ve been at this for a while. you are not like no one else on this planet, where you can go into a hospital room or a counselling room or an emergency room or a waiting room

or a living room and you can share the comfort of god with those young parents who are just now getting their diagnosis. you can do that like no one else. that's the ministry of 2 corinthians, chapter 1, verses 3 through 5: " blessed be the god and father of our lord jesus christ, the father of mercy, the god of all comforts who comforts us in all of our affliction... why?

so that we may be able to comfort those in any affliction with the same comfort we have received from him." many of you are here for that reason. and what i get to do to equip you to be comforted is to tell you a story. that's basically what i do. i'm more of a story teller and less of a preacher. the story i want to tell you this evening is the story about a father and his disabled son coming face to face

with the majesty of god in the valley of disability. actually the title, or subject, that was assigned to me for this conference was "parenting when your heart is continually crushed". to which i would respond, the only way that you can parent when your heart is continually crushed is to come face to face with the majesty of god in the disability of your child or your own disability or the disability of your family. i hope you get that, this evening. i hope you get that, because the story

that god has written for you is not about disability. it includes disability but it's not about disability. the story that god has written for you is all about his glory, it's all about his gospel, it's all about his goodness and his mercy and his hope.

and your co-starring role in that story is to come face to face with the majesty of god and just be astonished in a way that not only changes your view of disability and your life but changes other people's view of disability and their lives also. and so i'm honoured and priviledged to walk with you through that valley this evening so, turn to mark, chapter 9, the story begins in verse 9 of mark chapter 9. actually the story begins in verse 1, but i'm going to compile the first 8 verses and then pick up in verse 9.

verse 9 reads this: "and as they were coming down the mountain..." "as they were coming down the mountain..." the pronoun "they" in mark chapter 9, verse 9, referring of course to peter, james, john and jesus who were coming down from the mount of transfiguration where the inner circle of disciples had just witnessed an experience, arguably the most dramatic view of jesus, save the actual resurrection and the future second coming. imagine, if you could, first of all being chosen by jesus as a disciple and then being chosen as his inner circle of friends to accompany him on top of that mountain and maybe to walk with him up that mountain in such a way

and in such close proximity that you could see the beads of sweat on his forehead as he laboured up the hill. to be in such close proximity to jesus that you could almost feel his hand take yours and steady you across a difficult ledge to get to the top of that mountain. or to walk with jesus in such close, intimate proximity, that you could almost smell his breath as he breathed in the oxygen and breathed out the carbon dioxide that he created in genesis 1. and imagine obtaining a view into eternity

as you receive just a glimpse of jesus' glorified brilliance and a shadow of the resurrected state of godly men like moses and elijah and then to have all of this verified by the crystal clear, unmistakable, audible voice of god the father saying "this is my son. listen to him." then coming down from that spiritual altitude, descending into a valley where the glory of god is going to look just as brilliant as that. now, it doesn't appear glorious in the valley. it looks dark down there right now. and there are people who are hurt at the base of this mountain.

there is discomfort and there is confusion in the valley. there is severe disability in the valley, but god's glory is about to shine just as bright in the darkness of that disability in the valley as it did in front of those awestruck disciples on top of that mountain. and i believe, i believe that is the crux of god's good design in disability. it looks dark, parents. it seems frightening, pastors.

it often appears as if god is distant and even uncaring, sometimes, those of you who struggle with constant disability, pain and suffering. but when the curtain of our circumstances is pulled back, what we see is jesus strategically and sovereignly moulding and shaping and using even these dark times, i would say especially these dark times, to draw as closer and closer and closer to us almost close enough to where you can see the beads of sweat on his forehead as he labours over your life.

almost so close that you can feel his hand take yours and steady you across the difficult ledges in life and almost so close on a clear day when the wind is not blowing, i've experienced it before, you can almost smell his breath, as he breathes grace all over your family. and what we are going to see in mark chapter 9 is that the glory of christ is not diminished in suffering, it is not diminished in disability,

it is magnified in a way very few people get to experience it. as lecrae says "we are the lucky ones." verse 14 reads this: "and when they came to the disciples, it's jesus along with the inner circle coming down from the mount of transfiguration, they saw a great crowd around them and scribes arguing with them and immediately all the crowd when they saw him

were greatly amazed and ran up to him and greeted him and therein lies our first practical and theological point of application for parenting a disabled child when your heart is continually crushed. it's really deep, it's really theological. are you ready for it? run to jesus. that's it! you're thinking: "shouldn't it be harder than that? shouldn't it be deeper? shouldn't it be more theological than that?"

ok. run to jesus with your most desperate scenario. run to jesus with your most desperate scenario. here's the desperate scenario we come face to face in verses 14 through 18: some of the disciples get to go up on a mountain top with jesus to experience his glory and some of the disciples have to stay down in the valley and apparently the ones who were staying down in the valley were healing some people in jesus' name and everything was going fine until a certain father with a certain disabled son shows up

and requests that his son be healed. and the disciples apparently lay their hands on the boy, like they've done so many times before, that has worked so many times before and nothing happens. and so they say all the words that they've said before that have worked so many times before and they go through all the motions that they've gone through before that have worked so many times before and nothing happens.

and the religious leaders are there that day, they always show up at just the right time, putting the pressure on the disciples, watching, perhaps scoffing maybe even heckling. "we told you these guys were fakes. we told you jesus was not really the messiah. if jesus was really the messiah and these were followers of the messiah, they could heal this boy. but now you see that their words are powerless and your faith is hopeless."

ever felt like that after a doctor's visit? or an iep meeting? yeah. the disciples are sweating, the religious leaders are mocking and the father is doubting that any of this is real. everything is going south. and then, just then, just as if on cue, and if you believe in the sovereignty of god, like i believe in the sovereignty of god,

you know was exactly on cue, jesus shows up. what happens? everyone runs to jesus. the disciples need healing power so they run to the source of all healing power. they run to jesus. the religious leaders wanted healing proof so they run to the source of all proof. they run to jesus. and the father needs a healing promise so he runs to the source of all our promises.

he runs to jesus. they all run to jesus. there is a sense of desperate urgency in their action and it mirrors our own desperate urgency as we are confronted with the light of this world and the darkness of disability we run to the source of the light. verse 16: "and jesus asked them: what are you arguing about with them?" you got to love it when jesus asks questions in the bible.

i think it might have been nancy that said something... there are rhetorical questions... i went over all the questions that jesus asked in the new testament and not any single place can i find where jesus actually asked a question to get an answer. god asked so many questions in the old testament. they are all rhetorical questions, aren't they? when adam sins in the garden, what does he do? he tries to hide from god.

he hides. him and eve hide in the trees and god is walking to the garden in the cool of the day and what does he do? he asks questions. "adam, where are you?" do you really think the god of the universe did not know where adam was? no...adam probably did for a minute: "yeah! i' ve got this one. all right?" no! listen to me. god never asks questions to get answers. he always asks questions to get us to the heart of the answer

so that we will understand that he is the answer. and that's what jesus is doing here with the disciples, with the religious leaders and with the father. he's drawing them into himself so that they will see that he is the answer they are looking for. verse 17: "and someone from the crowd answered him: "teacher, i brought my son to you." i love those words. fathers, that's where you start. right there. that's your prayer. you don't know how to pray anything else,

that's where you start. "jesus, i brought my son to you. i bring my son to you, i bring my daughter to you. i bring my wife to you. i bring my family to you." from the entire crowd one voice stands out. it was not the voice of theological education. it was the voice of total desperation. it was not the voice of a disciple. it was the voice of a dad. not even a follower yet. just a faithful father. "jesus, i brought my son to you." that one statement, that one plea or prayer, i believe, glorified jesus

more that day than all the good intentions of the inner circle on top of the mountain, all the healing powers of the disciples at the base of the mountain and all the propagated intelligence of the religious leaders surrounding the mountain. because that one statement revealed an absolute, desperate dependence on the grace and mercy of god in the power of jesus. everyone ran to jesus with a need. the father ran to jesus with his son. the birth of great faith often begins in the delivery room of total desperation. verses 17, 18 and 22 tell us a little bit about this son.

mark and also luke in his gospel account informs us that the son is mute. he has a severe grand mal seizure type disorder complete with the foaming at the mouth, the grinding of the teeth, the rigidness of the body that's so bad that his disability makes him slam himself to the ground, it makes him roll into the fire, it makes him fall into the water. he is an utter detriment to himself. and as i read through this, i could think, as a father, of no more desperate scenario than the one that plays out with your child suffering immensely and you as the parent being helpless to come to the rescue.

i'm speaking especially to fathers here. fathers who fix things. you are one of those? you can't fix this. fathers who defend their children. you are one of those? you let somebody mess with my kids. you can't defend this. fathers who stand strong against the danger for your family. you can't fight this. it's like punching the wind. all you can do is the greatest thing you can do and all you can do

is run to the source of healing, hope and help. run to jesus. so i ask you "what is your most desperate scenario?" i use that word "scenario" intentionally, i could say "what is your most desperate situation?" but i know your situation: your situation is you are parenting a disabled child. i've talked to many of you in the hallway and it's the same thing over and over and over again. we're struggling with this. we're struggling with raising this child. that's your situation. don't you just come to jesus with a situation. come to jesus with the whole scenario. "jesus, what if he falls into the fire and gets 3rd degree burns and those burns get infected

and from that infection he gets a fever and the fever increases the seizure disorder and he dies! what if he falls in the water one time, and the water's too deep and i can't get to him in time and he drowns and the cpr doesn't bring him back this time? what if i lose my job because of the continual care of my child? who's going to pay these bills? what if i lose my insurance benefits? what if my spouse walks out on me? who's going to help me with this?" bring the whole ugly, crazy, dark scenario to jesus.

he wants you to come. he invites you to come. refer the verse: "come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and i will give you rest." you need some of that tonight? yeah! he loves when you run to him. he is glorified in your desperation, he is magnified in your dependence. i think it's beautifully poetic that luke and his account of the same story adds the phrase from the father: "he is my only son". mark says:"teacher i bring my son to you, i brought my son to you." luke adds: "he is my only son."

and that's a little bit more to the desperate scenario of the father. and i think it's beautifully poetic because in essence it could be said that this father is taking his only son to the only son. and he's pleading before the god of the universe who will give his only son, so that this man and his only son might be saved. not just temporarily, from a seizure disorder. not just temporarily from a disability, but eternally from sin. that's where this is leading as we see the story progress. so, run to jesus with your most desperate scenario and watch

as he turns it into your greatest testimony of grace! number 2: practically speaking and theologically speaking, recognize spiritual warfare but focus on the sovereignty of god. recognize, parents, spiritual warfare but focus in on the sovereignty of god. when we focus in on verses 17 and 18, we discover that this father's scenario is a little darker than just a seizure disorder, isn't it? verse 17: "for he has a spirit that makes him mute. and whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid."

"it shatters him.",luke adds. so there is a very significant spiritual battle going on here in mark, chapter 9, and it forces us to contend with, or to deal with a very significant issue. and the issue is this: "is there a demonic entity or activity that is responsible for my deepest, darkest scenario? or more to the point: "is there a demonic entity or activity that is responsible for my child's disability?" that's what i'm reading here. where does satan come into play in my scenario?

and that's a legitimate question, right? i've seen my son go from a cordial, very inviting fun-to-be-around person to i-don't-recognize-his-face-because-it's-so-contorted-with-anger-and-violence, as he picks up a 60-pound television and throws it across the room at me. i mean, the bible is clear when it says in ephesians chapter 6, verse 12 that our battle is not against flesh and blood but against rulers, authorities and the cosmic powers of this present darkness against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places and so the reality of books like mark chapter 9 and matthew chapter 9

and ephesians chapter 6 and job chapters 1 and 2, is that we are in a very real battle in a very invisible realm. now, just with that in mind, before you run home and start trying to cast out the demon of autism, or the demon of down syndrome or the demon of disability, let me clarify some thought on that and bring to light a practical and theological response to this very passage. if you read the new testament, specifically the gospels, it seems as if a great portion of people that jesus and the disciples deal with

are demonically possessed or at least demonically oppressed. why is that? you, who read through your bibles once a year, and you go through the gospels, matthew, mark, luke, john, it seems that everybody's got a demon. why is that? why such heavy presence? in the gospels, and the book of acts and the early epistles... well, when the disciples were sent out by jesus they spent a great amount of time and effort casting out demons and even jesus says as they return "i saw satan fall like lightning from the sky".

it's like a satanic storm that jesus is telling about. and the disciples are so excited about what's going on they don't talk much about the healing, they don't talk much about preaching the gospel, all they have to say is "jesus, even the demons are subject to us." i've never heard a preacher say that, that had his right mind to him. but they come back with all this spiritual darkness emphasis. why such visible, tangible, demonic activity in the new testament? i believe one reason is because the son of god, jesus, had come to this earth in human flesh to pay the price for sin

and to pound the nail in the coffin of the enemy. and so, in a certain sense, the demonic activity of the new testament was specifically and strategically concentrated on the coming messiah and is, therefore, incomparable to this day and age. i say that loosely, i do not mean to say there is no demonic activity today. i'm a police officer. i work on the front lines of the kingdom of darkness. i can take you out on my cruiser on any given saturday night even in a small town and show you things that would probably change your mind on the demonic. i'm simply making the point that we need not read the demonic accounts of the gospel,

we need not read the demonic accounts of the early church or the story in mark chapter 9 and use that as a guide to fight the evil one. ok? the focus on mark chapter 9 and all of scripture is not on the demonic. it's on the deliverer! the enmphasis is not on the evil spirit. it is always on the spirit of god that worked in the son of god! the spotlight is never on satan. it is always on the saviour! so, don't go to the word of god with an emphasis on defeating satan. go to the word of god with the excitement of finding the saviour! and you will have already defeated the enemy!

that's not just a new testament thing. it's also very prominent in the old testament, even in the book of job, where one of the most horrendous specific encounters ever recorded with spiritual warfare is taking place. and one awful day job's crops are destroyed, his livestock is stolen, his servants are killed and all of his children die! let's not pore over that too lightly... all of his children die!

in one awful gust of the wind! he got that phone call! and how does job respond? does he rebuke the spiritual forces of wickedness, does he bind satan, does he cast out the demon of the wind? no. he responds in job chapter 1:20: "then job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell to the ground and worshiped. and he said:"naked i came into this world and naked shall i return. the lord has given and the lord has taken away. blessed be the name of the lord."

and the writer of the book of job adds: "in all of this, job did not sin or charge god with wrong" and i would add: neither did he charge the enemy with credit. the bible describes satan in 1 peter chapter 5:8 like a roaring lion. he is not to be taken lightly, parents! but did you know that the bible describes jesus in revelation 5:5, as the lion of judah? do you get that? satan is like a lion. he is a counterfeit lion.

jesus is the lion! and in mark chapter 9, verse 25, the lion of judah roars. "and when jesus saw that a crowd came running together he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it: "you, mute and deaf spirit, i command you, come out of him, and never enter him again." and after crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out!" you'd better believe it did! so, when the fake lion roars, people tremble. but when the real lion roars, the fake lion faints!

listen to me, parents. satan is not responsible for your child's disability. satan is not responsible for your child's disability. let's go to exodus chapter 4, ok? "who made man's mouth? who made him mute or deaf or seeing or blind? is it not i?" says the lord?" there is a disability that satan is responsible for, though and it's found in 2 corinthians, chapter 4: "the god of this world blinds us to keep us from seeing the light of the gospel and the glory of christ."

he is only responsible for blinding us to god's goodness in disability. so, how do we see god's good design in disability when the enemy clouds our eyes? how do we parent a child with severe disabilities, when our heart is continually crushed by the spiritual forces of wickedness? we run to jesus! we bring to jesus our most desperate scenario. we realize there are spiritual forces involved but we focus in on the sovereignty of god in all things to include our child's disability and we keep the spotlight on the saviour. and we watch and wait in eager expectation as his plan unfolds for his glory and our good.

number 3: parenting when your heart is continually crushed. how do you do it? you surrender your doubt to god and you ask for greater faith. surrender your doubt to god and ask for greater faith. the disciples are doubting that their faith is strong enough, the religious leaders are doubting that any of this is real, and the father, as much as he wants to believe that jesus can heal his son, is doubting that anything can be done. and so in verse 19 jesus rebukes them all very gently

by saying: "o faithless generation, how long am i to be with you, how long am i to bear with you? bring him to me!" i've tried everything else, i've taken him to every doctor, every specialist, every therapy. i've tried every medication, you've read every book..."now bring him to me". and run while you're at it! and they brought the boy to jesus and when the spirit saw him, immediately convulsed the boy and he fell to the ground and he rolled about foaming at the mouth. and then jesus goes into the great physician mode.

have you ever taken your child to the doctor and maybe he's having a seizure, or maybe he's got a really high fever or something drastic in your mind is going on, and you take him to the doctor's office and you are crying, and you are weeping and you are all excited about what is going on? does the doctor ever get upset with you or excited or...? no! what is the one thing the doctor says every single time, when you come in there and you're an emotional wreck? he looks over his glasses and he says: "how long has this been going on"? they all say that. i think that's a medical question.

"and how long has this been happening"? that's the question that jesus asks here. the boy is rolling around on the ground, he's foaming at the mouth, his eyes are rolling around in his head, he's all stiffed out from the seizure, the demons are screaming by now and jesus just stands back and he's not impressed! is that it? how long has this been happening? again, jesus never asks questions to get answers. he asks questions to get us to the heart of the answer, he's drawing this father in with this question. and the father answered:

"from childhood" a lot of hurt packed in those two words, aren't they, parents? those of you who've been at this for a while know what i'm talking about. 20 years? 30 years? "from childhood", is a very long time! "and it has often cast him into the fire, and into the water to destroy him. but if you can do anything, jesus..." do you hear the desperation there? "if you can do anything...i'll take anything...

i mean you don't have to heal everything. if you can just give him a voice back so he can tell us when he is sick or when he is about to have a seizure... if you could just keep him out of the fire or the water, that would be helpful. if you could just calm him down long enough so i could get some rest... jesus! i'm so tired! i'm so weary! i'm so worn out! that would be something! have compassion on us and help us", the desperate dad cries. something else to consider here: this is the first century, not the twenty-first century. there are no emergency rooms to run to when your child has a seizure.

there are no hospitals. there are no seizure medications. there are no specialists, no special education, no parent advocate groups, no church disability ministries, no therapy, no seizure medication and no compassion from outsiders. you think "retarded" is a bad word? your child has a disability in the first century? no! your child has a demon! keep him away from my kids! this father could be a single dad for all we know! there's no mention of a mother or a wife here.

he probably had trouble keeping a job due to the continual care of his son, in the first century. he's beyond weary, folks! he's worn out! he's ready to check out! have you been there? some of you are there right now. don't give up. rescue is coming. and it's coming in the form that is all so much more glorious than just physical healing. verse 23: "and jesus said to him: "if you can..." did you not see what happened upon the mountain? you didn't see that, did you? "if you can...

all things are possible for one who believes", jesus says. and immediately the father of the child cried out and said: "i believe." but could you help me with something? i've got this little unbelief thing going, you know? could you help me with that? i thought about this...jesus could have simply touched the boy or not touched the boy and healed the son and gone on his way but instead he is soliciting the real need of the father and the real need of the father is not physical healing for his son. the real need of the father is faith in christ. all things are possible for one who believes.

jesus is not claiming theology here. he is bringing this desperate father to a crisis of faith. in essence, jesus is asking this dad and he is certainly asking some of you here tonight: "do you trust me with your son? do you trust me with your daughter? do you trust me with your child? do you trust me with the most valuable possession in your life? do you trust me with their life? do you trust me with your life?" do you, parents? the father is very honest in replying: "i do, sort of. i trust you with most of it. ok. i want to trust you. does that count for anything?" and you know, i thought about this, as this father is battling this unbelief...

it is one thing to affirm the truths of the gospel, that god entered our world of sin in human flesh through his son, that he lived a perfect life that we could never live, that he died a sacrificial death that we could never die, that he took on all our sin on himself on that cross and absorbed all of the righteous indignation and wrath of god on himself for that sin and in turn gave us his righteousness. he was dead on that cross. he said it is finished and it was finished, and he was buried in a grave and three days later he rose from that grave to defeat satan, to defeat sin, to defeat hell, to defeat death and he ascended into heaven where he now sits at the right hand of the father

to forever make intercession for us... that's the gospel. and it's one thing to affirm that with your mind, to make mental ascension to that, maybe to even verbally affirm that, yet, it is quite another thing to bank your hope in these things... and to trust them with all your heart, to invest in him with all your treasure, to the point that he becomes your greatest treasure! to the point you can hand your child over him and say: " i cannot fix this. he is yours."

hardest day of my life! greatest day of my life! there is a healing taking place here and it is more glorious than the father could ever have imagined. the greatest miracle for the father and for his son and for you, is not going to be a physical healing. instead, it will be the granting of a growing, saving faith, in the midst of doubt, hopelessness and suffering. so, run to jesus with your most desperate scenario. be aware of the spiritual forces of wickedness but focus on the sovereignty of god and surrender your doubt to god. he can handle it. he can take it.

bring him your unbelief, bring him your hesitation, bring him your reluctance, bring him your uncertainty and watch as he grants you supernatural faith for supernatural life. one more: number 4. number 4: and this is the one that i hold closest to my heart. number 4: how do you parent a child with severe disabilities when your heart is continually crushed? number 4: you meditate often on the resurrection. you meditate often on the resurrection. verse 26: "after crying out and convulsing him terribly it came out and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said he's dead."

all of the disciples failed attempts of healing this boy... all of the arguments from the scribes and the pharisees... the desperation of the dad, the disability of the son, the hope of a saviour... all come to a glorious climax, as jesus commands the spirit to come out of the boy and he falls down to the ground, dead! the religious leaders probably said: "that didn't turn out how you expected it, did it?" and all the good-intention christ-followers said: "at least he's not suffering any more. praise the lord!" i mean, it's not how we expected it!

we expected the boy to leap up with his brand new legs and to praise god with his brand new voice! we expected a glorious gratitude from the dad and a celebration from the disciples, maybe even a finger in the face of the religious leaders saying: "yeah! we told you he was a real deal!" but none of that! he's dead! perhaps it's just the cynical cop in me, but i believe they would have boxed the boy up and dug a hole and had his funeral that day, had it not been for the next two words... which just so happen to be the most powerful words in all of scripture!

verse 27: "but jesus..." hold on to those words, parents. they will get you through many, many difficult times! those words change everything! ephesians, chapter 2, verse 1 says:" you are dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you once walked following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience, among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of our body and mind and were by nature children of wrath like the rest of mankind." that's your story!

aren't you so glad it didn't end there? i mean you were dead, you were disobedient, you were doomed...talk about profoundly disabled! it doesn't get any worse than dead! verse 4...i'm so glad there is a verse 4 in ephesians, chapter 2... "but god, being rich in mercy because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead made us alive together with christ. by grace you have been saved. and raised us up with him. the boy was on the ground. his body was limp. his eyes were fixed. his teeth were clenched. he was dead to the disciples. he was dead to his father. he was dead to the religious people.

he was dead to the world! verse 27: "but jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up and he arose." my son, the experts inform me, will never progress beyond the cognitive ability of a 3-year-old. he turns 20 in april. he will never speak without the aid of sign language and computers. the strabismus in his eyes will gradually go worse and worse as his eye glass prescription gets stronger and stronger and his eyesight gets weaker and weaker. his crooked feet, that turn in and have to be straightened by hard plastic leg braces and eventually, what the doctors are saying, surgery that breaks his legs and reforms them,

will not get better. it will only get worse as he gets older and his legs and bones get weaker. and the falls that have plagued his body and left him with a dozen or so concussions and staples and stitches will not decrease as he gets older and his legs get weaker. they will increase. and some days i lose all hope that he will ever be healed. but god...says there is coming a day when my son will fall for the last time! and jesus will reach down and take him by the hand and raise him up, because his citizenship is in heaven and his mother and i eagerly await a saviour from there, the lord jesus christ who will transform his lowly body to be like jesus' body,

by the power that enables jesus to bring every single one of his disabilities under his control! and i meditate often on that day! luke concludes his version of the story with these words in luke chapter 9, verse 42: "but jesus rebuked the unclean spirit and healed the boy and gave him back to his father." isn't that the most beautiful, happy ending to a story you could hope for? jesus rebuked the unclean spirit, healed the boy and gave him back to his dad! that is a beautiful, happy ending! but that is not the glorious, happy ending! you know what the glorious, happy ending to this story is?

it's found in the very next verse of luke chapter 9, verse 43. mark this: "and all were astonished at the majesty of god!" listen to me, parents and pastors and elders and teachers and caregivers, and those of you who are broken and disabled and suffer with chronic disability, that's what this passage is about! that's what disability is really about! that's what god's good design in disability is really about! it's about being neck deep in your season of suffering and feeling god's hand reach down and take yours and pull you out of that pit, out of that mire and set your feet on a rock and put a new song in your mouth!

it's about losing all your hope, coming to the end of your rope and finding at the end of your rope there is hope in christ! it's about coming to the end of your faith and then stumbling upon the fountain of faith and hearing jesus say: "come, buy without money, drink without cost. i paid it all! come, see, savour and be satisfied in me!" and so, how do you possibly, as a weary parent struggling to raise a disabled child, when your heart is continually crushed, how do you do it? you start by running to jesus. bring to jesus your most desperate scenario... you realise that there is spiritual warfare involved, but you focus on the sovereignty of god in all things.

and you come to god honestly with your doubts, with your hesitation, with your unbelief and you present it to him. and you ask him for greater faith. and then you focus on the resurrection! you focus in on that day when he will reach down, take you by the hand, and make you forever safe, healed, whole and satisfied in him. let's pray... father, thank you for your word, your promises are so powerful, your fortress is so strong,

your name is a strong tower and again we run into it and are saved. yet, there are so many times we stand outside of your word, we stand outside of your promises, we stand outside of your fortress, and we try to fight this battle on our own, in our own strength... thank you for being so merciful to show us that our strength is not strong enough... thank you for being so merciful to break us in such a way that draws us in, that sends us running to you. thank you for making us desperate for you. father, as we leave this conference here today, bless these families and bless these broken bodies, bless these pastors and parents,

bless them with healing, bless them with wholeness... but most of all, lord, bless us with faith in the risen, triumphant, glorious saviour and bring us face to face with your glory that we may walk away from this conference astounded at the majesty of god, in the valley of disability. that is your sovereign design in our brokeness, and it is very good! amen.