how to overcome a breakup

how to overcome a breakup

- she dumped me. - it's raining outside? sorry. how'd she do it? - it's a long story. - well, i have an open bar tab. (rock music) - and that's how it happened. - i'm sorry, dude, that sucks.

but at least you guys weren'ttogether for that long, right? - three months. - really? straight people time's really weird. i thought it was like,two weeks, or something. all right, well, we gota lot of work to do. - where? what? - yeah, i'm gonna show youhow to win that breakup.

hey, step one, clean up. you guys were facebookofficial, weren't you? - of course. - gross, ok, never do that again. ok, so now we're just gonna hide your relationship status, here, and then change it to single. - well, i mean, people shouldknow what i'm going through. you can't just hide all thenegative parts about our lives

and project all the positive parts. - chris, it's facebook,that's what people do. - i guess you're right. - ok. - should i just de-friend her completely? - no, that's admitting defeat, we're going for higher ground here. you're just going to,you know, unfollow her, so that you don't have to see

all her weird shit in your news feed. - i mean, what about allour pictures together and our trip to cleveland. am i just supposed to delete that? - no, chris, again,that's admitting defeat. plus, you know, you maywant them in 10 years when you want to burnphysical copies for a seance. - you think facebook willbe around in 10 years? - ha, i was thinking about that, like,

are we just gonna, like, be robots. - oh, yeah, i was reading--- [brittany] you know and, like, it's gonna be like our face--- [chris] i was watching a documentary about technological singularity-- - ok, so we're gonna take all the photos of you guys together,put them in an album, change the privacy, soonly you can see them. - how do you know all this? - oh, i'm horrible at relationships.

- oh, she just tweeteda quote about change. - unfollow her, that's a subtweet. - what? - you know, like when she mentions you without mentioning you. - yeah, and she attributed it to kanye, this is a brady bunch episode. - stop looking, stop it. - i'm just gonna reply and let her know.- [brittany] no!

- so, what about instagram? - instagram's a little trickier. it's the front line of your battleground so if you delete all of thepictures you guys have together, that's a huge whole in your defense. - she just posted, like, four selfies of her and her friends at the beach. is that another guy? - oh, is kara there?

she's a hunk. - losing focus. - ok, i'm sorry, she's overcompensating, she's only doing this to show you how good her life is without you. - all right, so let's retaliate. - no, chris, i'm sorry, we can't, we have to take the higher ground here. - all right, fine, i won't post anything.

- no, you can't do that. then you're just gonna look devastated. - well, what do youwant me to do brittany? - ugh, ok, here. (picture snaps) look, indifference is key. - [both] dogs are on instagram. - these things are reallyweird if you think about it. - oh my god.

- huh? - she just liked my post. she crazy? - well, what does this mean? does this mean we'regetting back together? should i text her?- [brittany] no! no, chris! no, ok? if you text her now, allthe progress we've made is just gone, she wins.

- ok, i don't care. what if i don't wanna do this anymore? what if i don't wannapretend like everything's ok? - because that's what people do, chris. they pretend like everything's ok until things are eventually ok. - yeah, but why does therehave to be so many rules? what if i just wanna be myself online? (clapping)

- no, don't stop it. - you just won the breakup. - stop clapping. - "the only winning move, is not to play." - war games reference? - yeah, i thought that you'd like because the whole singularity thing- [chris] yeah, singularity thing. you were listening. - yeah.

- ok, i'm still kind of upset about this, but was i was saying--- [brittany] sure. - was that, i kinda thinkthat robots will learn so much that they'll kind become god, in a sense.- [brittany] yeah. - or, at least they'llunderstand our concept of god. - are they gonna be, like, conservative or do you think they'll be more liberal? - no, i think they will understand god, so, like, every, like conservativething-- - [brittany] but,like, a social platform--

- but that's just ourinterpretation of god.

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