i feel heartbroken

aah, good day everyone, so it's just me and wolfie "wolfie over here!" "look at the camera! say hey" so i got a haircut, you guys saw it a little bit in the previous time that i vlogged i saw my reflection, and that scared so much but i like it! it's short, ah but it's good it's like a summer-cut this is what i'm wearing today. oh my gosh cutie patootie i love this necklace it's my absolute favorite you guys probably. . . *incomprehensible jiberish*

did you guys used to um when you'd like want to speak another language make one up yourself and ask someone like ohh, did i say something? like i think i had spanish friends and i was like: *random jibberish* and i'd be like, "what did i say??" and they'd be like nothing, and you're also racist. and i'd be like, but i'm like, 5. i don't even know what racist means! that was me

so, i just felt like, uh, sharing a little part of my past with you guys uh, it's really nice out, i should've gone swimming today, i didn't that pool looks so good right now *gasps* i just wanna stick my little tongue in there and drink it all up! uh, i am actually trying to drink this kombucha it's the "mystic mango", i think it's my favorite flavour but it was in the fridge, in the back and it's become iced ice'd-d-d which is a good thing... what are you doing?

you thought i was going to push you in the pool! hahaha! okay well anyways, megan is on her way here, and we're going to see inside out which i haven't seen... i'm super excited to i also haven't seen megan, uh since, a long time ago. so it's good that i'm going to see her bringing my mom my mom has never met megan and yeah okay let's go awww look at all these sunflowers what happened to this one wolf?

what happened to this one? did daddy have to clean it up? now he's going to fart flowers *gasp* *squeaky voice* you think so, he's gonna poop flowers *squeaky voice* yeah megan's here we actually just saw inside out and it was really good all the feels that were in that movie were so real it's so funny because megan's always like

been the one to be like "just feel feel your feelings like it's good to cry because then you'll feel happy and you'll get it out," megan: exactly! joey: did you invent this movie? megan: i maybe talked to them a little bit about it... i was like, "hey guys we need to have a movie about feelings" and they did it. she directed it. she uh was actually all the feelings because she has a lot of feelings i'm amy poehler, i'm sadness, i'm all of them

you're also the girl from mean girls there's a lot of feelings she just has a lot of feelings and you mister are in big trouble. look at this this is like a magic trick... "sit." sit down megan: play dead! joey: play dead dead wingardium leviosa!

*mumbles* it starts like floating up in the air megan: that was great joey: i know that was some gold mom what did you think of the movie? it was awesome...definitely hit every feeling: anger, sadness, a lot.... she doesn't remember the rest! haha she just remembers angry and sadness and joy too because i was with my son

awwwww mom: i was with joey i actually just got some of the photos from the thing that i did the murder mystery dinner surprisingly, the same night megan comes over i give her her pictures but these are so cool this was such a fun night i don't know if you guys remember that vlog but it was a really fun thing and i'm excited to talk to you guys more about what that project's turning out to be megan and i are going to go get some din din so i guess we'll see you at the dinner yay my drink came! where's yours?

i drank it all! joey: oh my god well i have a bunch i might be able to share with you would you want some? yes oho ahaha i blew that out it's back it's like making my eyes go crazy

i'm like trying to have a conversation and were going to party tonight and their like do you want one glass and joey's like no, lets take a pitcher hehehe hey guys so as you can tell by my eyes i've been crying for a little bit i'm suprised the tears are still coming out today has been really rough and

*sigh* but i'm deciding whether to vlog this part i've already been so open with you guys about my life if you read my book and i've never talked about before my mom is a recovering alcoholic and i tried so hard to like

*sigh* believe and like put up this wall that like there's chance that things could go bad again i just thought that things were finally good today i found out that they are not umm i had to i had to call -- i had to call the ambulance

for my mom for overdosing on pills and mixing with alcohol it was so scary it was so scary and so sad because it was like i was that same kid

dealing with my alcohol parent it was very similar to that time when she ran out of the house and was like on the grass looking up at the sky and like telling me that she was going to die she did similar thing without

like it being in my house and her telling me that her life was over and that she was gonna be gone and i wasn't gonna see her again just that feeling of just like being still sad and disappointed and confused because everything was going so great like today i had

planned on us getting our nails done i made appointments which sounds so gay it sounds so gay but it was something fun to do with me and my mum she was here visiting because she was going to be getting surgery on her back so she was staying with me for a little bit at my house everything was going so good she went to the movies with me and megan

that was 2 days ago and then yesterday we had a fun day out and then today everything was fine and all of a sudden she was acting different and i could tell that like something was off and so i asked her i was like "have you been drinking?" and she said "no" and she told me that she took pills and i was like "well you can't stay here anymore mom like"

that's not ok and so i went upstairs to talk to my sister, my step dad and then all of a sudden she was yelling at me and telling me to come downstairs and talk to her i did and that's when she told me that she was like leaving this world and stuff and

that she took a bunch of pills and i later found out that she had taken alcohol too so i had to call the police and ambulance and stuff on her it was so hard something that you don't want to do to your own parent i thought i finally escaped that moving to la and not having to deal with that and i let her back into my life

and i let her stay at my house and she did that to me and i just felt so angry i'm so mad at her for making me feel this way and right now i can't do it anymore i can't let her in my life anymore not for a very long time

it just sucks so bad it sucks so bad i just thought that everyhing was going to be fine i thought that she was secured and that she was better here but she's not this is the disease that she's gonna have forever *sighs*

i hate it i hate it so much and of course david comes home from his trip like great as this is all happening and thank god for him because he helped me out so much through this i would have been so bad if i was alone i hope none of you guys ever have to go through so right now she's at the hospital she's probably gonna go back to rehab

but i don't plan on seeing her at all for a very long time changed around that back so it means i'm so sorry to shed this on you guys, umm just wanted to update you... alright i love you thanks

i'm gonna go bye ahhh, good day everyone! and welcome to my first get ready with me video. so, here i am sleeping in my bed. waking up, trying to find my phone, today's a big day because it's the first day on my tour stop, and, of course i am running late because that's just me i like to sleep into my alarms #jetlag

anyways, there i am *gasp* oh my god, what's that, is that sasquatch? yeah, it certainly looks like him what do i do??? i know what to do! that's right! i need to use my "braun" razor.