a broken hearted man

- yes, i have been broken up with. - i've been broken up with so many times. - i have, yes, i have been broken up with. man, i remember my highschool girlfriend dumped me. ugh, i was so sad. - finding out that she hooked up with someone more successful than me. (laughter) - uh, my girlfriendgave me a homemade quilt

that took her, like six months to make, and then broke up withme like an hour later. uh, that was a strange--causei, like i didn't know what the hell to do withthe quilt after that. - we were at a cast partyfor a musical that we were in and just like, halfway through, because i said something weird,she goes, "we're through." and i thought she was joking. i was like, "oh! what?when did that happen?"

- worst way i did it was via e-mail. and it was definitely onsome, like, childish stuff because i was cheating, iknew i was in the wrong, so i was kinda like,"how am i gonna finagle "my way out of this thing?" - it was throughout the entire evening of the homecoming dance. both the dinner before, during the dance, and then for an hourafter the dance was over.

i tried to convince someonethat we weren't dating. in general, it was--i shouldof just waited one more day, just let the girl have a fun homecoming, but i couldn't do that becausei was too much of a jerk. - the worst way i've everbroken up with someone is taking a vacation with another girl. - i remember one timetrying to go on a date and be the most awful version of myself for the person to tryand break up with me.

that's just--that's nota good way to do things. - i walked in after a ski trip and handed her this little wooden frog and then said, "uh, i'm going to sleep "on my buddy john's couch. it's over." and that was that. we didn't really talkagain for, like, two years. - i think when you stop communicating. - if you feel like it would be easier

to just hang out with them miserably than it would be to break up with them, that's a good sign to break up with them. (heavy sigh) - i think, it's time to break up when you're trying tofigure out how to break up. - there's no one that knows like, "oh, this relationship has run its course. "let's get out now while we'reboth still happy with it."

it's like a relationship has to get into this murky, soggy, grossperiod before you both have the courage to be like,"this is bad, isn't it?"