another word for heartbroken

heartbreak youngone wakes to the morning after sees graffiti marker friends names written on the rafterof her sisters bunk who is no longer there disappeared a feather blown to the night winds where someday young onehopes to follow.

black permanent smells, sweet and spells; christine 1916 deborah up the ra jenny loves karl taylor is a slag i love sean her face, is a picture of grace

as she reaches, touches, runs her hand along the bunk thump! thump! thump! now who'd of thunk, her ma made it home she'll be early morning lucid when mam’s hazy shelets youngone and friends sit in the box room, listen to tunes, smoke squigy like cavemens from the bc whens they write a happy story of their lives on the bedroom wall it belies a hurt narrative

the ma a fuck does not give bcoz she is wowvit the daddy, the picture, well he has been ouvit recently youngone has got breasts and attention and not just boys i should mention but fully grown men who remark "shes an old 15, but an absolute 10" and that was when the boys started yelling ‘heearyorr, heearyorr, heearyyor’ ‘c’mere! c’mere! c’mere’

let me shout sweet obscenities in your ear she does double take and sees sean she feels she likes this one boy because he didn’t shout no youngone is special,youngfella said. she always thought her first time would be in a bed not a wet patch of grass with a dog barkingat the back end of where two housing estates meet. and i think when he said it,

he meant ithe truly did cause he’s not like all the other boys but he is still just a boy whos pulling out latenow pulling out early. she sits in a chemists queuefor a patronising talking to ‘well if i knew, it was gonna happen i wouldn’t be here talking to you’ so she bounces. weeks laterstomach follows suit sister, no longer there, for advice, if they were, together she could be stronger

and one of her friends simply said ‘stinger’. her ma said, "here" "c’mere c’mere c’mere, look listen understand” “there’s no money for a trip on the ringerthats only for those that can” but now shes wide awake no longer dropping yokes but dropping prenatal vit hit no more smoking rollies, with little nodge of squidgy. she thinks, this little nodge in me that i see from this strangely rendered orange 3d picture of my little...

squidgy..... it doesn't look or feel real and the chemicals at 12 that started running riot and were only just now settling down arewhipped up in a frenzied sensation, of emotion, puts her head on the brinks and she thinks..... she has the baby on her own but for its sake she resolves to love 'this thing'more than she was ever loved herself but the gaf is still ill

the oulone on the thrill of the back endand the hallways are still full of new ‘c’mere c’mere’s’ every weekend. so she kicks it to back alley b and b asks a grubby dirty blueshirted td for help and the problem compounds when he says ‘go back to your mam’s’. sound local newspaper learns of her predicament

asks for photograph and interview so she rocks this little €15 boohoo made byher counterpart on the other side of the globe ‘look at her! she looks fine to me!my tax euros mean she gets everything for free’ what about “cherishing all of the children equally” ‘was a poet’s way of describing catholics and protestants living harmoniously under one flag. not so my tax’s could pay for a house for a working class slag’ but now its money she'll have to make young one grows and gets a job,to prove them all wrong she kicks a rhyme on a zero hour contract noover time.

‘how can you work your way out of the poverty down down down trodden propertyand keep getting poorer while working’ she shouts cause prices go up and wages go down now she’ll have to do more to change this hellacious situationprogression she feels will come through education. the boy grows tall and strongand school becomes a place for the two and now inspired by a brilliant teacher.....she's got that yearning for learning but she’s not learning for earningno she’s just, learning for learnings sake. so that she can articulate this incandescent rage between all the young women of ireland in 2016 she learns things like the constitutional refusal of bodily autonomy

thinks this is backwards blasphemy you mean as woman or plebeian in this country of opportunity this ceiling and sea is a shamrock coloured green glass to me. you’ll only get the last of me.’an she’s still dealing with the ignominy of getting followed and hollered at in the streetin of spite undergraduate accomplishment! “relax darling, take it as compliment” “here boys, leave it out look at her she’s a mother” she says “ stop! here, c’mere c’mere c’mere” i am not defined because i am some man’s daughter sister cousin mother.

i am a woman and i have agency because i’m breathing air mother fucker! and i’m standing here mother fucker. and you and this state are the ones who are trying to fuck me. the boy sees this treatment all his life in the street and from the state so he decides to regulate. but young one now fully grown tries to sate this rage and build this young man this young boy, he, will be thebest of the elements of femininity wrapped in a rebellious feminine but benign masculinity the man she always hoped for

he will love you till the end of days traverse space and time and do even more and with her words, her lifea mixture of loving and ethics food in his belly and all the right seasoning from the instant that he achieves cognitive reasoning and a maturity he will be the man to settle up the score and say "here ma..... you embody all that is good and are the one that i am fighting for. i’ll never cat call, i ’ll treat and respect and help to create an ireland that will stand in awe of all mnã¡. heart mend