how to handle a break up

hi i'm ajanta from innersight counseling. today i'm going to talk about dating rules, breakup and heartache. couples break up for a variety of reasons there are, there is no one type of onereason but i think one of the main reasons is somewhere feeling a lackof connection you hear a lot of couples, saying i don't feeling connected anymore, i can't relate to theperson anymore. i think somewhere, just not beingable to talk openly about expectations from relationships is one of the mainreasons the other is i think lack of honesty,lack of transparency in relationships

a complete sometimes ignoranceabout what the other person needs or expectations in a relationship. so these i would say are the primary reasons for break ups and dating relationships. i think rejectionis one emotion which is never easy to deal with. just remember that rejection is about loss, it's aboutrejection is related to loss, you're, it's related to grief, so it needs time, it needs some amount of processing to get over that i think rejection sometimes, onetends to personalize a lot

so it's not that the relationship got over, it translates or i hear it as that i'mnot good enough or there is something wrong with me i'm not able to sustain relationships, noone wants to be with me it becomes about me versus that therelationship could may not have worked out due to several reasons but i think, so rejection i think thereis lot of self-pity, there's a lot of feelings theinadequacy feelings of, you know, this will neverget over

i think there is a process of goingthrough it i think one other thing that i would like actually like to talk about is don't try too hard to snap out of it. i think that's when one gets into rebound behavior i need to snap out because i'm not somebody who wants to indulge in self pity. so i think don't be too hurry to snapout, i think work through it see it for what it was, and i'm going to use a cliche: don't cry that it's over

smile that it happened. i think one, justone needs to get in touch with one's support system and most of us by thetime we're adults do have good support systems you have friends, you have colleagues, you have cousins, you have family you have whole lot of support system that are there, you just need to reach out i think, trying to work through itby yourself i don't think it's a great idea, youcan get into you know continuous thoughts of why it didn't work out and what was wrong with me it's important to surround yourself withpeople who love you, people who support you

and i think that's one great way ofactually sort of coping with hard heartache. i thinkrebound sort of denotes impulsive behavior and not all impulsive is unhealthy, i wouldn't say its unhealthy i would say that sometimes it's not thought through so it can be hurtful if you are doingsomething and you're very sure why you're doing it,go ahead but i think most of the time rebound tendsto be more hitting out at the other person

and it never really achieves that, it sort of ends up hurting you so just be careful when you're on therebound. i think someone breaking up with one's partner is riddled with some amount of guilt, i think the first step is that when you've decided to initiate a breakup most often, your partner hassensed it, sometimes your partner is completely clueless i think just have an honest conversationi think just think about why you'd like to breakup and as honestly as possible,

if it is you who is initiating the breakup,i think try and be a little sensitive i think that will also help you dealing with much lesser guilt when you've actually broken up because there willbe some amount of guilt i think yes, but just tell yourself, dosome self talk where, you know, that you're breaking upbecause it's not working out for you and that's the honest truth. i think it's not easy to have aconversation, i think break up conversations are one of the most difficult

just be honest, be true, be honest to yourself first, then to your partner now i think that's the way to go. so, can exes be friends? sometimes, immediately after abreakup, maybe not. i think it's a little too close for comfort at that point so maybe it's a good idea to maintain somedistance but if the relationship breakup has been amicable then yes of course, you can be friends. so this was about dating wars, heartache. if you'd like to know more about relationships

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